Weiss delivers the goods

Melbourne Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was on heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.

While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Rick, a big Kiwi lad and former All Black, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery. Rick, like most Kiwis, seemed to be possessed with ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. So the Zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Rick was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500? Rick showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, Rick announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions:

"Fust", he said, "I don't want to have to kuss 'er."

"Sicondly, you must niver niver tull anyone about thuss." The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what his third condition was.

"Wull," said Rick, "you gotta give me another week to come up with the $500."